Just Being Real!

This post is all about me. My faith. Lack of my faith. My spiritual journey. Being real. Getting real. My heart. Here it is.

My life changed on Father's Day. June 15, 2008! First, let me give you some background on my faith. I was raised loving God. I have always had a heart for God. Somewhere along the way, I lost that love. Why? I don't know. What I do know is that I wanted to change it. I have wanted to change that for a long time. While living in Vegas, we attended church. While living in Fresno, we attended church more actively. Getting our girls dedicated. I was involved with some MOM groups and even volunteered in different areas in the church. I really enjoyed Northside Christian Church in Clovis. Great people. A great church. But there was something missing in my heart. And after years and years of self exploration, I knew what it was. Jesus!

(Here is the email I sent to my family and close friends):

I want to share something with you that i have wanted to do for a long time and finally made the decision to do. on june 15 (father's day) i publicy and officially asked Jesus into my heart (in front of thousands of people. our church is quite large!). i feel that i have done this before as a child and maybe even as a teen, however, i wanted to remember this special event in my life and KNOW that june 15, 2008 was the day that i was saved! i was the girl at the very top of the balcony with sweaty palms and tears running down my cheeks and as the invitation song played to come forward, i did. and i'm so glad i did. i can't tell you how many times i have been wanting to do this. i made up every excuse in the book. this time there were no excuses. God was calling me and i couldn't resist Him any longer. so i began my journey down to ask Jesus into my heart. so even though it was on father's day, this will be a day that i will forever celebrate. the next step in my spiritual journey is being baptized . i will be baptized this sunday at the 6pm church service. being so far away from my dear family and friends during these special times in my life is hard. but i find comfort in your love and just knowing you are there in my heart. if you want to view the baptism live (sunday at 6pm EST. 3pm PST) you can. just go to http://www.fbcw.org/ and find the link to that particular day and service (look for podcasts/webcasts links). if you can't view it live, check back a few days later on the website to view it. this will be an amazing day for me and i appreciate all your love, support and prayers. i'm ready for this. my heart is in the right place.

For all of you who might be in a similar place as me, one thing I want to say to you, is don't feel embarassed. Don't be ashamed. Just be you! Show your heart. Feel your heart. And listen to your heart. You will know when it's right. Whether you are 11 or 31 (like me!) or 61, it doesn't matter. I know many people who might have asked Jesus into their hearts as children but want to REALLY ask Him into their hearts or KNOW for sure as adults and there is nothing wrong with that. So if you are that girl at the top of the balcony like me or the girl in the front row not sure where you stand with God, please go to Him. Go and talk to Him. Your life will be forever changed. And you will be so grateful. So very grateful. I am.